I think one of the parts of The Bell Jar that stood out to me the most was Esther's view on life, and the role it plays in why she eventually attempts suicide. One of the main things that Esther struggles with is the question of what her future is, and if the one she's on track to is what she really wants. The uncertainity of who she wants to be, paired with the question of whether or not that's possible for her, haunts her. When Esther is faced with the path that she worries is currently laid out for her, one of being married to Buddy and having his kids, it only furthers her spiral. Seeing the woman give birth, and her realization that one day it will have to be her being tortued on that table, being forced to forget it, all so she can repeat that same process eliminates a possible future for her.
On page 79, Esther compares her life to a fig tree, with each fig representing a different life that she could lead, until, "I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant loosing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet." This quote reflects Esther's spiral throughout the novel, as she goes from not being able to pick just one to not being able to see one for herself at all. This culminates when Esther returns from New York, only to hear that she was rejected from her writing summer program. This rejection is what kills the final fig, which represents her aspirations to become a writer, leaving her without the one thing that motivated her. Without a future that she'd actually like to live, Esther doesn't have a point to keep living, and decides that the only way to get back that fig tree is to start over.
Esther's fixation on rebirth and cleansing herself reaccurs throughout the novel, such as when she throws her clothes off the roof and eventually attempts suicide. In her mind, there isn't any possible futures for her, so her only option left is to end it all. However, it wasn't her attempt that allowed for her "rebirth" but rather the support she recieved from Dr. Nolan and the idea that there is another option for her. Dr. Nolan represents for Esther another fig on her tree, since she's not only an educated and successful woman, but also someone who is able to not limit herself to the double standards that society has for women. As her bell jar lifts to see that there actually is a future for her, she goes through her actual rebirth, which is also the beginning of her recovery.
Hi Chloe! I love your analysis on the fig tree passage and how it highlights Esther's dilemmas with indecisiveness and how it suffocated her more and led to her downward spiral. The mention of rebirth and starting over also remains prevalent in all of her works of literature, but her ability to articulate these feelings of rebirth through metaphors such as a fig tree is fascinating and adds to the reader's understanding of Esther's state of mind at the time. Great post!
ReplyDeleteI don't think we discussed the fig-tree passage at all in class, so I'm glad you've highlighted it here. It's a potent image to characterize Esther's unnerving feeling of indecision, when up to now she has prided herself on always knowing the "answer" to questions like "what do you want to do when you grow up?" The image aptly reflects her increasing sense that it's not possible for her to be "both/and"--she has to choose between poetry and motherhood, for example (and it's of course Buddy who first assures her that once she has a baby, she'll forget all about wanting to write poetry--an eerie echo of Esther's take on the drug administered to Mrs. Tomalillo!). The fig tree represents this sense that she needs to make and commit to ONE choice, and the anxiety that a failure to commit to one choice will lead to all other choices figuratively "withering away." It's a striking counterpart to the moment when Jay Cee asks her what she wants to do with her life, and she's stunned to hear herself say "I don't know," as if that's the worst possible answer (when in fact it is perfectly normal and common for people her age--and your age--to not know exactly what you want to do with the rest of your life!).
ReplyDeleteHi Chloe, this was a beautifully written post! I love how you utilize Esther's writing and analogies in your own. Its so clear how many reoccurring themes are splattered throughout the book. It's almost like this story could be told as timelapse of the bell jar or the fig tree, with each of Esther's big events causing them to change in some unique way.
ReplyDeleteHi Chloe, I really like how you connected the fig tree metaphor to Esther’s growing sense of hopelessness and how each "plopped" fig symbolizes a lost future. The way you tied her suicide attempt to her desire for a kind of rebirth was especially powerful which it shows how, for Esther, death feels like the only way to reset her life.
ReplyDeleteI think that your point about Esther's disillusionment with the world and inability to see a future for herself really highlights another quality of the Bell Jar. The book talks about the "sour air" in the bell jar that is suffocating her, but I think that this fog surrounding her is also blinding. When Esther is under the bell jar, it's as if she is unable to see anything besides her own depression and uncertainty for her future. This was a great blog post!
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